Show people! and the curtains close. One, two, three KICK. One, two, three NO. Can-can, can I dance with you, wear those costumes, strut those boots? Can I be in the chorus, not even a leading roll, just for the thrill the rush of being amongst the voices, the chorus, the choir?
Not with those calves, these legs, not this life sad to say...Not built for it. Not groomed for it. Not brave enough do actually go out there and do it. One two three and the big 3-0. Did you ever think that maybe it's too late, my mother asked me the other day. Really. Reality. I just want to see. These legs, these legs I wear, my wheels, the trunk of my tree, strong and 'sturdy', are Scandinavian, round, robust, made for climbing mountains, shapely. But no you can-can't can can in the chorus... cuz we'll never be able to ignore it. "Those legs!" the neighbor said. Knocked knees. Meaty thighs. Too bad. I have to siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh, (a long airy sigh) for the thirty years of Broadway shows to which I now say "Let loose that dream", the childish fantasy, leaning over to my Godmother and wedged between her and my mother thinking that Broadway must be a stop on every woman's road. "So when were you and my mom on Broadway, Aunt Joanne?" Good to know who we are and who we're not. A ghost upon a stage, yes indeed, living in a land of dreams. But a showgirl, not this life, not with these legs, no. Sad to see, sad to say, but no, sadly, realistically, matter of factly, no. Like a kid wanting to be a pilot discovering she's colorblind. Like a moment where there is rent in the veil....Halleluia! Now I can sing it out...Now I can admit to myself, what I've always thought and felt, the God honest truth... I just don't have the legs for it...
