Ruby AEB Vanderzee

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Take Home Chef Came Home with ME!

So, I go to the Indian Market in Los Feliz, and low and behold, Curtis, THE Take Home Chef and his 17 person camera crew enterage show up behind me. After 12 hours -shopping, cooking, filming we surprised my friend NICO with a birthday feast. Seriously, some days are just worth getting out of bed for!...What next?

The Encounter!

Josh flew all the way to L.A. to take me to my first Ani DeFranco concert! We ventured up to the spacey lounge in the airport parking lot at LAX for a Manhattan. Trippy Tiki Austin Powers music sets the tone in the elevator. Air traffic and the LAX glowsticks a-light an incredible sight!Slam Poet Buddy Wakefield opened for a PREGNANT Ani De. "PRETEND FOR A MINUTE YOU LIVE FOR A LIVING!" - my favorite line from the show.

Carmen Miranda seen Monday in Beverly Hills

Oh, Chicita Banana!!!! Ay, ay, ay! Some days I get up in the morning and have to sing a little ditty about how fun this road is that I roll along. Monday started with leaving the boyfriend at LAX to go back to JFK. I dashed back to a beach bungalow in Venice where we were priveledged enough to stay the night. Quick change and OYE! CARMEN MIRANDA ESTOY YO! Zoom, zoom, zoom round the 10 up Robertson and into lovely, lovely Beverly Hills. In a fancy shmancy casting agency with glass doors Carmen(me) sat on an equally colorful couch and stared at the 8 screens of tv's with the same music video flashing as the other actors rolled in dressed as clowns, magicians, girls on roller skates...and then, in the audition, we did a scene eatting gummy bears....In my head, I'm singing..."Caramelo a Kilo, oye! Yo tengo de coco y pina, limon y miel de abeja!" (Celia Cruz) On the walk out..."I'm in Hollywood!!! La, da, da, da! Hollywood!"

Friday, September 08, 2006

And the Curtains Close....

Show people! and the curtains close. One, two, three KICK. One, two, three NO. Can-can, can I dance with you, wear those costumes, strut those boots? Can I be in the chorus, not even a leading roll, just for the thrill the rush of being amongst the voices, the chorus, the choir?

Not with those calves, these legs, not this life sad to say...Not built for it. Not groomed for it. Not brave enough do actually go out there and do it. One two three and the big 3-0. Did you ever think that maybe it's too late, my mother asked me the other day. Really. Reality. I just want to see. These legs, these legs I wear, my wheels, the trunk of my tree, strong and 'sturdy', are Scandinavian, round, robust, made for climbing mountains, shapely. But no you can-can't can can in the chorus... cuz we'll never be able to ignore it. "Those legs!" the neighbor said. Knocked knees. Meaty thighs. Too bad. I have to siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh, (a long airy sigh) for the thirty years of Broadway shows to which I now say "Let loose that dream", the childish fantasy, leaning over to my Godmother and wedged between her and my mother thinking that Broadway must be a stop on every woman's road. "So when were you and my mom on Broadway, Aunt Joanne?" Good to know who we are and who we're not. A ghost upon a stage, yes indeed, living in a land of dreams. But a showgirl, not this life, not with these legs, no. Sad to see, sad to say, but no, sadly, realistically, matter of factly, no. Like a kid wanting to be a pilot discovering she's colorblind. Like a moment where there is rent in the veil....Halleluia! Now I can sing it out...Now I can admit to myself, what I've always thought and felt, the God honest truth... I just don't have the legs for it...